Let me tell you a story of a girl I once dated. Her name was Kristie, a part time gym instructor who worked at the gym that I went to every day. It was a date that I was definitely excited for; I found her attractive, and it seemed like she seemed nice, but apart from that, I knew nothing about her at all. For all I knew, she could be a horrible person, but again, she seemed like a pretty cool person. I texted her, and we agreed to have dinner at a local sports bar near campus.
The moment I got there, I realized that punctuality was a problem for her. Growing up, my parents taught me that punctuality was a sign of respect that you have for the people you were with. But at the end of the day, she was cute, and I figured that there was still potential for the date to lead into something that was fun for the both of us.
The moment she saw me, she immediately launched into a rant about how horrible her day at work was. This rant took a while, and set the tone for how the night went. It seemed as if she was pissed at everyone that day. I tried to be more positive, but it seemed like she wasn’t about to settle down anytime soon. The conversation was by far one of the most awkward conversations I’ve ever been in.
While we were in the middle of pool, one of my friends texted me saying that her and her boyfriend were hanging out at another bar near campus, about 15 minutes from where we were. She asked me if I wanted to hang out. At this point, I figured that the date couldn’t have gotten any worse, so I figured why not? I asked Kristie, and she said it was alright. I told her that if it was alright, I’d like to walk to the bar because I didn’t want to take an Uber for a place that was so close. Kristie said it was alright, though I noticed a flicker of a scowl go over her face. I decided to ignore it, and thought I was just imagining things.
Anyway, we met with my friends, and decided to have a few drinks. Kristie seemed to still be in a pretty bad mood, and it was then that I decided to stop caring. This was a first date for crying out loud. If she didn’t want to have fun, there was no point in me forcing her to have a good time.
While we were walking back, she told me that she was angry at me because first of all, I had made plans to meet with friends even though we were on a date. I responded with that was why I asked for her permission to go, and when she agreed, I took her word for it that it was alright. There was no reason for me to doubt what she said. She responded that I should have known better in the first place and that it was rude. I didn’t want to argue with her, and I thought that her preaching about manners was quite ironic in this situation. But I kept my mouth shut, deciding that silence was my best option considering the circumstances.
Secondly, she said that she was mad because I forced her to walk to the other bar. I told her that I asked about that too, and when she agreed, I also took that as the truth. I didn’t really know her that well, and there was no reason for me to doubt what she said. She responds with I should’ve known she was tired from a day of work at the gym and I should have taken that into consideration. I kept my mouth shut at this point, mostly because I wanted the date to be over and get away, but also because I knew that arguing with her would serve no purpose. The only thought I had was how difficult this date turned out to be, and for someone that I’ve been out with for the first time, she was acting too much like a long term girlfriend. I felt annoyed and pissed off.
This whole experience made me so angry that I wanted to swear off dating completely for a while. If she was a representative for what college girls looked like, I figured that it would be best if I waited to get out of college so I could actually find someone mature. The date was less like a date and more like babysitting a bratty 7 year old. This taught me that physical appearance can only take you so far. At some point, personality will win over, and talking to someone who never stops complaining about their lives is just torturous. Maybe I would have had a better time if she had just stopped complaining and decided to actually come out and have a good time.