Changes

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Sometime a few weeks ago, I woke up and realized that I couldn’t recognize who I was.

It was just how I looked in the mirror. Something had shifted internally. I then flipped over in my notebook to entries written a few months ago, and it was as if my attitude towards the world, how I formed relationships or processed emotions — it was as if I was a completely different person. It seems like I’m only now realizing how large that change was.

I guess it all started when I resolved to start saying yes to doing new things, and to start making memories even though they might be out of my comfort zone. I started saying yes to going to new places, and reconnected with old friends that I hadn’t talked to in years. I said yes to a few blind dates that my friends set me up on, and even though nothing really came out of them in a romantic sense, these experiences helped me realize something within myself — I was reminded that I could give value in a relationship, and that I shouldn’t compromise my happiness just because I didn’t want to be alone. I started going out regularly with friends, and that sometimes doing crazy things is necessary for me to “get out there” and truly have fun. And then I started working, and people who I never would have met at school or otherwise in life have become some of the best people I’ve met in my life so far.

There are also things that I did out on my own. I started going to the gym again. I talked to people in the weight area (it was extremely intimidating at first, but much to my surprise, everybody was nice). I began writing again.

And slowly I realized that the judgmental, introverted person that I was started to become more outgoing and open with people. I would never have thought that was possible. Sometimes, it still feels strange and frightening, but no longer in the bad way.

 

So I guess the moral of the story is to keep doing what has worked so far — to keep pushing myself and surround myself with people who support and accept me (despite my flaws), to start trusting more, and find out who I can be if I never give up. For the first time in a while, I’m excited to see what the future holds.

27 thoughts on “Changes

  1. I think you found the right answer for creating positive change from within. Now what you exude to others will likely allow that change to influence others and draw them to you. Good for you!

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

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  2. You’re making so many good decisions! Surrounding yourself with people who are respectful and supportive will make a big difference in your life. If anyone makes you feel bad or unhappy, cut them out of your life (even if they’re family) and you’ll find your life becomes sweeter and happier. 🙂

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  3. We are capable of so much. When we open ourselves up to more people and new experiences, it stretches us. And the more we do it, the more we stretch – and we realize we can never go back to the way we were.

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  4. to start trusting more, and find out who I can be
    if I never give up. For the first time in a while
    , I’m excited to see what the future holds.

    It appears you are all set to face the world and all eventualities! Great, Gina!

    Hank

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  5. Saying yes more often can be intimidating at first, but it does bring on great benefits. Thanks for the reminder, I think this was something I needed to read. I hope this path continues to bring you positive change and progress!

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  6. Wow–mindblowing. Good for you to be so brave to step out of your world and experience a broader new, exciting world.I’m proud of you for recognizing the change and appreciating what you have done. That’s huge! Wishing you all the best.

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  7. That’s really hard to do, especially for introverts. But the rewards are worth the trouble, Gina — there are so many wonderful people out there in the world. Being a little social, at least part of the time, should make us better writers, right?

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  8. What an excellent attitude! I could take a lesson from you. I spend a lot of time alone (except for immediate family) and never really notice anything amiss until I happen to spend some time with adults through volunteer activities.

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  9. I applaud you, Gina. And yes, don’t ever settle simply because you don’t want to be alone. You might not have pushed your comfort zones if this rewarding way had you settled. Keep being you and being proud of yourself.

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  10. Sometimes saying yes to something, even when it scares you, is the best thing. Sometimes I go through a more outgoing phase, although lately the pendulum has swung the other way. If it wasn’t for the day job, I’d probably never leave my house. Heh.

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