The First Morning I Forgot You

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The morning started out as it normally did. I woke up early as usual, the quiet sounds of the morning chirping in the air, the day still cold. My roommate forgot to turn off her TV. I could hear the Game of Thrones theme song playing through the wall, the sound reminding me that I haven’t finished the latest season.

I stood up from my bed, my head aching from general lack of sleep. My mind was still a blur, causing my motor functions to slow down. It was so early that at first I didn’t realize that it was already the next day, and that I have a lot of work to do before the day is over.

After brushing my teeth and running my fingers through my hair, I decided that I was just going to go eat and work out before my classes started. I walked into the living room, and I saw my roommate. I pause for a moment, surprised that she had gotten up so early. She apparently had yet to change from her clothes from last night. Her face looked like it was carved from stone: filled with disappointment.

“When did you get back?” I asked her.

“A few hours ago.”

“You haven’t slept at all?”

“Nope. Decided it was a waste of time.” That made sense. What was the point of going to bed if you have class in two hours?

“Did you have fun last night?”

“Nah, not really.”

“What happened?”

“My date ditched me for some other girl.”

“That’s rough.”

“Yeah, can’t be helped. What did you do?”

“Nothing much. Just watched some Netflix and went to sleep.”

She nodded, and finished her food. After a while, she changed and headed for class. I scrolled through the news on my phone, seeing if I had missed any major news that happened overnight. Nothing major had happened.

The microwave beeped in it’s usual annoying manner. I quickly got my food out.

And right when I sat down to eat, I remembered you. Right at the moment when I started my computer, and the smell of coffee still strong in my nose. It was that moment when I realized that you were no longer the first thing on my mind.

This came as a complete shock to me. After months of listening to sad love songs, of self-pity, of waking up feeling like I was missing something, of blaming myself for not “doing better” in the relationship, I had just woken up to a morning where I didn’t feel like a big part of my life was gone. And apart from the shock that was this realization, I saw how such a moment could be so mundane. All this was happening while I was at my desk, opening up Hulu, and looking like someone who just rolled out of a trash can. It was a moment that was as anticlimactic as one could be.

Yet, I felt like it couldn’t have been any better. Even though this moment was lacking any of the drama that I was expecting, I felt as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

 “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” – Albert Einstein